Monday, April 20, 2009

Why this?

I have been struggling with my health for over five years. I know when it all started. ...Or do I? It's hard to know when you aren't exactly sure what's wrong. I can tell you the symptoms. I can tell you about the times I have gone to doctors and had tests done. The times they told me I had anxiety, or acted like I was just seeking attention. I was 21 when this all started. 21 year olds don't go to the doctor for fun, and they don't go to the doctor for attention. As time went by and I felt worse and worse, I told people how I felt. Family, friends, people at church, coworkers. I learned that when you don't have a diagnosis, people don't believe you. If a doctor can't figure out what is wrong with you, you must be making it up. Or exaggerating small symptoms or pains. I have since stopped talking to anyone but doctors about illness. People have come into my life in the meantime that have no idea I am ill, because I never mention it.

I am using this blog as an outlet. I won't be able to write everything that I go through, but I do want to share with someone what I feel. I feel for all of the people who struggle with a diagnosis and illness. I know many are labeled as people suffering from depression or anxiety by their doctors. These labels are often untrue. I hope doctors everywhere can be more sensitive to realizing that they don't have all the answers, and sometimes their patients need to be referred to someone with more experience.