I have not posted in over a year. I find it so hard to share this personal side of my life. In reality I am open about my life and don't like to keep secrets. I get a wonderful feeling from sharing myself with others, like I am giving a piece of myself to my friends as a gift that they will hopefully accept. I love being able to feel them accept what feels like a tangible piece of my soul. I dont get that feeling through the internet. I feel boring, that no one will care what I say or feel. The hardest part is feeling like there won't be anything left of me for myself when I'm done.